hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency


YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD


911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN


YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS


911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER


MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.


YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ


TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.


yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.

hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

image

YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

image

911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

image

YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

image

911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

image

MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

image

YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

image

TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

image
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

image

yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.

(Source: babylizard)

rainymeadows:

somethingpointy:

Vampire doctors that can smell if you have a blood disease.

Werewolf therapy animals for sick kids.

Nature sprite and nymph nurses that always make sure people have pretty flowers to brighten up their white rooms.

Fauns that go around and sing and dance for patients so that they smile.

Nice monster hospitals would be amazing

Someone write a book about this.

misfitsassemble:

Loki was never Odin’s son.
Loki was never Laufey’s son.
But Loki has and always will be Frigga’s son.

misfitsassemble:

Loki was never Odin’s son.

Loki was never Laufey’s son.

But Loki has and always will be Frigga’s son.

shoujo-goddess:

owlmylove:

during a quidditch game the Ravenclaw announcer narrates “and the seeker’s taking a dive, he’s turning down, can he-” before a muggleborn darts in and yells “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT” into the mic and every muggleborn in the entire arena loses their minds

"oh an excellent-" another muggleborn grabs the mic and yells "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOT SHOT SHOTS! EVERYBODY!!" and there is no hope of recovering the crowd of dancing muggleborns after that

dajo42:

"tea is just leaf water!" "yeah well coffee is just bean water!" wow, it’s. it’s like everything is made of things. this door is just wood rectangle. this poster is just ink paper. this lemonade is just lemon water. wow, it’s like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. sure is a magical world we live in

me when i was 5: I LOVE NUGGETS AND MONSTERS INC

me at 13: I LOVE RAP MUSIC AND SWEARING

me at 15: I HATE EVERYTHING

me at 18: I LOVE NUGGETS AND MONSTERS INC

paragonikathryn:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

This is genius

f3nnekin:

inner—utopia:

Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.